Jessica Strait

By: Jessica Strait

Have you ever been knee-deep in depression, anxiety, worthlessness, fear, or a feeling that everyone you know is living out their God-given purpose while you merely sit on the sidelines? Maybe you’ve had a poor childhood that has changed even now how you view the world; maybe you’ve been through a divorce that’s made you bitter; maybe you have a child who’s struggling and making poor choices; maybe you’ve lost a loved one and you’re not sure you’ll ever feel okay again; maybe you’re struggling to feel worthy of the life you have today because of your broken past; maybe addiction has controlled your life (whether it be you or the ones you love fighting that battle) and you’re not sure you’ll ever feel free again. If anything I’ve said so far resonated with you, this blog is for you. I’m so glad you’re here! Pull up a seat, my dear sister, you are not alone.

Who am I?

I am a woman of God, a woman saved by His grace, married, mother of two, and a stay-at-home mom. Who I am also. I am also a woman who has watched people I love most with what has felt like, at every turn, struggle with addiction and alcoholism. It found me in my childhood home. It found me in my relationships and yes it even found me early on in my marriage. With every person in my life struggling with this, my unhealthy thought pattern was always the same. My thoughts stopped me in my tracks and held me captive. Thoughts of if I could only do this, or do that. If only I would have done this, or done that. If only I could be what they need me to be to change. To be better, to do better. That’s some crazy thinking, I know, but those thoughts consumed me. I was so desperate to change the ones I love that I found myself severely depressed, completely broken, feeling unloved, unworthy. I was ripped to shreds and guess what, they were still addicted to drugs and alcohol.

Who would want inspiration from me? Who would read it? No one cares what you have to say. You are not qualified. You’ve failed at most things in your life, this will be no different. LIES. ALL LIES but it’s those lies that almost kept me from venturing beyond my fear and writing these very words. But, oh, was there a sweet voice of truth reminding me that I am loved and that I am enough. I have a testimony to share. I can bring hope to others by sharing my journey of yes, failures, and painful memories but friends let me tell you — God does create beauty from ashes and there is purpose for your pain.

It saddens me to my core to think there are so many people capable of cultivating change in an ever darkening world but fear stops them in their tracks. Fear of rejection, fear of failure. Oh, have I felt fear fiercely but in the same breath let me say through fierce fear, I have come to know a fierce faith. It’s those lies straight from the enemy that ignited a flame in my soul even more.

Changing the trajectory.

What if I told you that what you do today could change the trajectory of generations to come? You-singular-have the power to break generational curses and be a generational blessing. Today, I’m choosing to seek and grow in Christ. I’m chasing joy and I’m doing my dead-level best to spread that God-given joy. My kids see this and prayerfully they do the same and their kids and so on. I’d like to tell you this started with me but for me, it started with my mom. My momma taught me early on to put my faith in Jesus. What if she had chosen not to seek God (this I hate even imagining) but stay with me. IF she had not, would I be seeking Him today so relentlessly? I’m not sure and honestly I don’t want to imagine that either. What you or I choose to do today is so much bigger than just you and me. It will ripple down to generations after us.

Our sweet 6 year old daughter, Everly, knows just about every word to every contemporary Christian song they play on the radio today. This affirms that ripple effect. It’s already beginning to reach her and oh my what joy it brings to this mommas heart hearing her belt out lyrics along with the singer in the backseat of my suv. One even better is when she does it randomly throughout the day while playing in our home. God is speaking life and truth into my young 6 year old through song and she hangs on to His every word — thank you, Jesus. Our 3 year old son, Hudson, who almost always without fail prays his own prayer of thankfulness once his dad or I have said our bedtime prayers. Woo Wee! Joy ignites in my soul each time he so sweetly says God, thank you.

Prayerfully, they carry these moments with them always and never lose sight of who they are in Christ. That, my dear sister, is generational blessings. It starts with just one deciding to carry it on or to be a generational blessing. I haven’t always been joyful — in fact, I’ve played the role of victim for most of my adult life. I’ve had many reasons for justifying my role, too. My life has not been easy, that remains true. Whose is really? What’s changed is through Christ, I have found purpose for my pain.

Trusting His process.

You see, my dear sister, devastations and disappointments will inevitably find us in this life, but what we do with that pain is up to us. If we trust God, we must trust His process and just maybe we find the purpose for our pain and cultivate beauty from the ashes. Generational curses have wreaked havoc in my family for years so today I’m choosing to be a generational blessing.

2 Corinthians 3-4 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Within this blog, I am going to be vulnerable and raw which is something I have never been very good at (fear of rejection) but I am now ready to release my fears once and for all. Today, I strive to be a joy spreader and I hope to do that by sharing my glory story. It may be my story but it’s all for His glory.

Prayer.

Father,
Thank you for loving me so perfectly and always reminding me of my worth. Thank you for reminding me of who you say I am. Help me to drown out the voices that tell me anything contrary to your truth. I’m trusting Your process. I know there is purpose for my pain. Help me to keep my focus on you in times of trouble and to comfort those who are struggling in the same way you comfort me. I know if my focus stays on you, in the end, I will be okay.
In Jesus name,
Amen.